Gifts of Death Awareness
We’ve all been touched by the pandemic in some way. Whether we experienced Covid-19 ourselves, know someone who did, lost loved ones to it, or simply watched the news, death and the possibility of death has been center stage.
We deeply grieve the profound life-changing and tragic losses we’ve experienced as a global community. Yet behind the curtain of tears are gifts, which arise out of our mortality-awareness. In this article, I’ve explored a few of these gifts.
What is “Mortality Awareness?”
The Covid-19 pandemic has been a global experience of “death awareness,” also known as “mortality awareness.” This is the realization that one day you’re going to die. With a pandemic raging, it could be any day.
Some people don’t believe they’re personally at-risk of dying from Covid-19 because elderly and health-challenged people are the most statistically vulnerable. Yet news reports have shown that even young people have contracted the virus— and some died or were crippled as a result.
Whether you’re at-risk or not, mortality-awareness from the pandemic sent many people into shock—especially people who live unconsciously, in denial of the physical body’s vulnerability.
But if you’ve faced your own mortality because of a brush with death, the profound, significant loss of a loved one, a Covid-19 positive test, or something else, you may already live with death awareness. If not, it’s pretty common to go through life thinking “that’s not going to happen to me”—at least not in the immediate future. Or, not wanting to think or talk about death— it’s socially taboo and scary for some people. Yet one thing’s for sure: one day we’re all going to die.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., the renowned creator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, puts it this way: “With each exhale, we’re one step closer to our death.”
The Gift of Foreknowledge
Some people are gifted with an intuition of their own death, such as my mom’s dad, my Grandpa Izzy. During a visit to see him many years ago, Grandpa Izzy told my mom, “I’m going to die today.” My mom, not wanting to be negative, brushed him off saying, “Don’t be silly, Dad, you look wonderful.”
On her way home, he died.
May he rest in peace.
Unlike my grandpa, most people don’t know which breath will be their last. This gives our lives both certainty and uncertainty: I know I’m going to die. But when? A week? 10 years? 30 years? If we only knew, we could plan ahead and relax!
Why Death Awareness is Good: Maranasati
Contemplating death is so spiritually powerful that the Buddhists have a meditation practice called Maranasati, which means “death awareness.” You don’t contemplate mortality to invite death, but rather to acknowledge its reality and live wisely. So with the possibility of death standing before us on a global scale, I’ve felt compelled to dig into this “dark, forbidden subject” and search for buried treasure.
The Dalai Lama explains, “Analysis of death is not for the sake of becoming fearful but to appreciate this precious lifetime.”
Facing Unfinished Business
Have you stopped to contemplate the possibility of death during the pandemic? If so, what comes up for you? What do you hope to do with the unknown amount of precious time you have left?
Do you have…
Fears? Regrets?
Unfinished business?
A life mission to complete?
Something you’ve always wanted to do but put off for another day?
On a more practical level, is your house tidy and in good repair, paperwork in order, and your last will/trust up to date?
If you died, what would your loved ones find in your home? Is this okay with you?
If you’re open, death awareness can bring you into the present moment and inspire you to put things in order.
Death Awareness: Contemplation vs Rumination
For some people, the pandemic has provided long stretches of silence, social isolation, and/or illness—either their own, a relative, or friend— which invites either contemplating death or simply ruminating about it. Ruminating, on the one hand, implies wallowing in dark, sad thoughts—getting depressed. Whereas contemplation suggests deep thinking that seeks inner knowing.
Other people have little time to contemplate or ruminate because they’ve been at home with children and possibly spouse or other relatives due to school and work closures.
Yet we all face the same questions.
Whatever our personal situation, or level of death awareness, will we get caught up in worries? Or, will we contemplate “what to do with our one precious life?” as Mary Oliver suggests.
Tidying Up Makes Room for Soul-Self
As I walked around town in 2020, I noticed many people making house repairs, painting, and giving things away. With time on their hands, many people made their homes a place of refuge.
I’ve worked on this, too—structurally, cosmetically, and emptying out. To help me through the difficult process of decluttering, I took Marie Kondo’s online course, The Art of Tidying Up*, and used her concept of “sparking joy” to go through nearly every item in my house before gratefully giving it away, tossing it, recycling it, or finding a place where it belonged. Her gentle, mindful approach helped me enjoy the process and grow from it.
I was amazed at how letting go of old belongings freed me from outdated identities of myself. This is because every object in our home carries an emotional charge from the past.
I also realized how quickly I’d moved through important moments when life was much busier. As I tidied up, I took those moments in again, but more deeply. I celebrated awards I’d put in a box, felt immense love from all the cards I’d received and saved, and tossed out old photos and letters from unhappy relationships.
Burdens I didn’t know I carried were lifted and love I forgot receiving touched my heart again.
My mind, cleared of stuff that once filled my house, became calmer and more focused. Having shed a number of things that represented old identities, I felt more connected to Soul-Self.
What Excites Your Spirit?
With this clarity of mind, I thought about how I wanted to live considering I might die (again).
I turned to Rumi for inspiration:
“Respond to every call that excites your spirit.
Ignore those that make you fearful and sad,
that degrade you back toward disease and death.”
Like Marie Kondo’s concept that items in your house should “spark joy,” Rumi suggests we respond to the “call that excites your spirit.” Do you know this feeling?
I experience being “called” as an invitation from Spirit and higher self to be in the flow of one’s purpose. Be it inspiration, intuition, or a sudden download of information, a “call that excites the spirit” comes in many forms.
Perhaps we’re called to write and can’t stop thinking about something until words are on paper. Or maybe we have a professional calling to be a teacher, coach, accountant, healer, dressmaker, or artist.
Like a couple of my friends, we may simply have the urge to call friends, plant flowers, mail cards, or read. Perhaps we feel pulled to leave for the store at a particular moment. When we arrive, we smile at a stranger, which uplifts her mood. In turn, she treats her husband more kindly. Then he’s more patient with his children and colleagues the following day. I call this developing positive presence.
Developing Positive Presence
Calls that excite the spirit can be large or small, court fame or cultivate a quiet life. Simply developing positive presence can be a calling, in itself, that fulfills a life mission to spread love and kindness. But no matter what calls to us, we all have significant, though sometimes invisible, effects on others.
One effect we can visibly experience is peace of mind. For not responding to an invitation from Spirit leaves us with the nagging sense that something is missing, wrong, or left undone. That we’re somehow disconnected and isolated from what’s important.
What call excites your spirit?
Connecting To Intuition & Soul-Self
If you’re not sure what calls to and excites your spirit, sit quietly for this short meditation. Breathe down into your belly and allow the breath to rise up into your heart. Inhale deeply, and exhale completely, slowly, several times. If you feel tense, let your breath “fall out” heavy, in a sigh, to relieve the tension. Be aware that death is a part of your life cycle and let that awareness guide you into this living, breathing moment.
Then breathe naturally, still mindful of breath going deep into belly—your grounded intuition, and rising up into heart—your grounded soul. To assist your focus, you can place one hand on your belly, and the other on your heart center. This practice facilitates your connection to intuition and Soul-Self.
From this relaxed state ask yourself this question: What calls to and excites my spirit? Or, change the question to a fill-in the blank: My spirit is called by… Be sure to call in your spirit guides to guide you to the answer.
Then sit quietly and let go of the question. Notice with your inner senses—inner vision, voice of intuition, gut feeling, etc.. what comes up for you. You may be surprised by the answer or it may validate what you’ve always known.
If you don’t get a message right away, be patient. Allowing heart-centered intuition to rise up from within takes quiet time and deep listening. Continue breathing deeply and slowly as you watch, with love and acceptance, thoughts that arise. If your mind feels busy, imagine a blue sky where thoughts fade and dissolve. Most of all, be patient and accepting during this practice.
As the mind goes quiet, calls of the spirit arise spontaneously. If not during meditation, then later on a walk, while showering, or engaged in some other activity. These calls don’t make us fearful or sad. Rather, they excite our Soul to live with love, wonder, meaning, purpose, and curiosity.
Remember not to get too hung up on how you receive your “calls.” It’s my experience that your calling will also find you. These are synchronous experiences that feel like you’re in the right place at the right time.
Changes to my own Life
I’ve used the above Self-reflection to guide my daily activities for many years, incorporating a reflection on death after my near-death experience (NDE). When the pandemic forced me to close my in-person hypnosis/coaching practice and restructure my business, I relied on this process even more. I’ve wanted to be sure the changes I make “excite my spirit.”
With so many online trainings during the pandemic, I took many workshops that would have otherwise required travel and greater financial investment.
Teaching & Learning
I completed a 200-hour Registered Yoga Teacher training from January-June 2020, specializing in restorative yoga. I began teaching zoom classes in the fall, up until I had complex oral surgery. I currently offer private sessions via zoom, but may teach classes again in the future.
I’ve fed my artistic passion with photography and writing classes, and my spiritual passion with a hypnotherapy training where I learned Michael Newton’s past life regression process. I’ve wanted to do this for 6 years!
I’ve been offering Zoom sessions for Past Life Regressions (PLR) since November. The way Michael Newton structured the PLR process, these sessions take clients into a deep trance at the higher theta brainwaves. In my experience both as client and facilitator of PLRs, the memories that arise come from soul-space and offer deeply moving experiences that can resolve long-standing issues, clarify life purpose, and reveal the beauty and light of the soul.
After tidying up and making these changes, I feel more focused, at peace, and in alignment with what excites my spirit.
Connecting to Loved Ones
I’ve helped my mom a great deal during the pandemic, especially with shopping, because I want her to survive! For those of you that know me personally or on FB, you know my mom and I are very close.
She turned 90 in August of 2020 so is in a high-risk category despite her good health. Her building closed down and we couldn’t visit for months unless I stood outside and she came out to her balcony. Once masks were implemented, I could visit in her lobby—with social distancing—and bring various items. To hug each other, we invented a back-to-back hug where we link arms and do a little dance. We call it the Covid-Hug. 💝
I’ve also connected with friends on a more regular basis, though I wish there were more hours in the day to catch up with everyone more often. To be honest, I’m really grateful for social media, which helps me stay in touch with most friends’ big news.
My mom and I have been advocating for my oldest sister, too, who lives in a nursing home and was hospitalized five times during 2019. She miraculously survived these hospitalizations: the first with Covid-19 and the others with complications from the virus. Her physical condition has declined significantly, but she’s happy to be alive and we’re so grateful she’s still with us. We Zoom once a week and had our first outdoor “window” visit.
How have you stayed connected to loved Ones?
Practicing Self-Inquiry
Whether or not you’ve discovered what calls your spirit during this intense invitation to death-awareness, what matters most is asking the questions. For seeking “the call that excites your spirit” is an ongoing, evolving quest—one that we have to contemplate and listen for the answers to every day. Following this call of the spirit, we can create our own “heaven on earth” and truly relax in our daily lives knowing we’re in Soul-flow.
May you be well, connect to your Soul-Self, and live your calling. 🙏🏻
maranasati
/maraṇasati/
1: mindfulness of death, death awareness
Analysis of death is not for the sake of becoming fearful but to appreciate this precious lifetime during which you can perform many important practices.
~ Dalai Lama
References
https://learn.konmari.com/?campaign=WPNav
*I earn no income from recommending Kondo’s course.
https://www.netflix.com/title/80209379
https://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/librarydisplay.cgi?lid=269
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